October 11, 2018
11:28pm
I don’t know what I feel like right now... emotionally I’m a cluster, so I’m not feeling one emotion for too long but just enough to know I’m dealing with something. That struggle to trust someone... To let someone continue to battle you over everything possible. Is it torture or is it training for life? To see how much you can endure... To help you understand how hard it was for Jesus...Just think of the things we give up on. The things we don’t see into fruition because it got too hard or required too much. It was too difficult. You didn’t think anyone believed in you because you didn’t believe in yourself.
But we have been told that we have been chosen... Meaning He has hand selected us to participate in this life. Therefore we must realize the strength and endurance we have when we trust in Him and His will for our lives.
It’s hard, I know... I’m coming out on the other side of a season that has had so many ups and downs. So many times I thought I was coming out of the storm only to find the tide had overtaken me again. So many times... yet His grace has been sufficient. So many times I felt like I was way past the edge. So many times I felt completely deflated, alone, and weary. Yet I have thought of myself as broken, I still am in one piece...
How many times can we learn to “Trust the Process” ?
I believe as many times as it takes ! But you have to be willing to be wrong about Your Way, over and over again... And for most of us, that’s the hard part. To believe WE don’t know what’s best for us. How could we not, I mean, it is US...
Be Kind to each other, for we ALL are fighting battles. Be Gentle with yourself, but especially with others. Live in your Truths. Don’t be afraid of your faults, we all have them. Not one is counted more than another. And Be LOVE, we all have a need for it. If we all give it, we all receive it
So through that cluster feelings, I still push through, because I trust the process, over and over. The battle is worth it. The training for This Life is worth it. In the moment it always feels like its too much. However it is ALWAYS just enough... Just enough to make you think, dream, hope, trust, pray, scream, cry. And when it all comes full circle its always enough to let you know He is real.
“For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son, so that His Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters” - Romans 8:29
“You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail” - Proverbs 19:21