April 22, 2018
So this is Love. Funny. I was never taught that this is how it would feel. Love was always supposed to be that thing that brought smiles and warmth. Love was always supposed to feel like the best hug. Warm arms and chest on a cold winter day. The sun streaming across your face as you sit in the shade. That breeze across your scalp as you lean your head out the car window. This... this feels nothing like that. Love was supposed to be simple, but I found out just how complex it is. Especially in a world of Personal Agenda. Where what I want surpasses what’s right. And what I need comes before any and everything. Where Thank You’s and Hello’s are hard to come by. And where compromise doesn’t matter unless I’m being satisfied first.
I am in a place where Love is calling me to drink the pain of someone else and not let the poison of that pain keep me down. Not allow it to cripple me and become pain. But to offer healing for them and allow them to move through this life whichever way the Lord deems necessary. While also being able to pick myself up and by the power of His spirit, that He has placed in me, and grow through it. Grow through the pain that I have exchanged for Love and regenerate Love again. It’s one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever had to do in life. To want something so bad for yourself, Love. But to have to let go of the expectation for the Kingdom. To know Love resides in you, to give... over and over. Not just the warmth of Love, but also the understanding what you don’t understand. The believing what you don’t believe. Accepting what you wouldn’t normally accept. The trusting what you know is not the truth. Not to prove the ones you Love right or wrong, but to show them that no matter what they are not willing to let go of. Or what they haven’t learned yet, you will be patient, you are there to support, help them understand, find, and Love. It’s hard sometimes to keep in mind that not everyone understands how easy it could be. To not be afraid of judgment, as we are all flawed. And to embrace our differences. Be okay with our make up and allow someone to Love us just the way we are. No facade, no masks, no lies... That’s the beauty in Love, that it is accepting of us, the Real Us. The Us we sometimes hide from ourselves not just the world.
Love is much harder than I could have ever imagined. Love calls me to... Love at the hardest of times. Love requires me to be broken many times over and still stand firm in it. I wonder if Jesus ever wanted to give up on
Love. If He ever thought this was just too much. If there was ever a point in time where He just thought, “Look, I just can’t Love them anymore.” Or “ This is sooo not worth it.” I don’t think He ever did, He understood the power of being powerless in many situations but choosing to be everything for anyone. WOW. That’s huge. To decide to be great to people who have decided to not be good to you. That’s Love. No payback, no crazy looks, no harsh words...
John 13:13-17 says, “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them.”
Ask yourself with me, Whose feet should you be washing in Love?
Lord, teach me to be even more humble. To bear my cross in Love. To not view my situation as a defeat but as an opportunity to Love even harder through the trials. To not let the pain of the world stop me from being who you have called me to be. Remind me daily that the true reason I’m here is to glorify you for your mercy. And I accomplish that by loving through words and deeds mapped out in your Love letter to me, in your Loving name I pray, Amen.