2:07 AM I’m so full. But I don’t know that that is a good thing. As a matter of fact, I know its not a good thing. I’m full of just muck from this world. My thinking has strayed, my behavior has strayed. I’m lost... once again, I am lost. This is not a comfortable feeling. It’s not the place I envisioned myself to be. A place where nothing makes me happy, Nothing. And no one... I’m in a constant battle with self but without an outlet. I feel like I am alone in this world. Am

I guess this is how it goes... after 42 years of looking and dedicating my life to something bigger than myself, I have come to a place where I am no longer willing to look or dedicate. The hunger that I thought would never die is gone. I’m in a place of numbness, that is until the tears start. Until my memory so kindly plays back all the lies, all the trust, all the ALL, the Everything. This I know, I have never been a quitter and it saddens me that I have driven myself righ